This past Friday I got up early and showered and I had just taken the time to blow out my hair, which is a lengthy process. I had my head upside down and I went to grab for my Moroccan oil to spread through my hair before I flipped it back over and before I finished styling it. I have no idea what was actually going through my mind, but I grabbed the wrong bottle, I grabbed fast-action, sublime bronze, sunless tanning lotion. I put it on my hands and spread it through my hair and THEN realized what I had done. The words that came out of my mouth probably would have made Lil Wayne blush. The bottles aren't even the same size! They don't even look alike! The stuff inside the bottles aren't even a little bit similar! I have no good explanation for this.
But I did have to take another shower and I was pretty cranky about that.
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I've written a few times on things that annoy me (part 1, part 2, part 3.. they're good reads) and I always feel so much better after writing them. That probably says a lot about me, but whatever. I was flipping through a US Weekly in the check out line over the weekend and I found myself getting cranky with every flip of the page. So let's begin.
1. The Kardashians.
Oh yea, they are definitely at the top of my list. Look, on one hand I have to give them some credit. They have no real talent, but they turned having no talent into a multimillion dollar affair. So, props. However, I can't stand to hear about them, to look at them, to read about them, or anything of the sort. And yet I can't escape them. I very legitimately DO NOT CARE about them or their lives. I make it a point to know as little about their lives as I possibly can, which is kind of difficult for me considering I'm a People magazine junkie. I'm just saying that I don't need to see a tweet about them every time they take their trash out.
…Which I'm sure they probably don't do anyway, so that was a stupid sentence.
2. Joan Rivers.
Why is she still a thing? I'm just saying that I'm not sure she is the right person to be giving out fashion and beauty tips, but most importantly judging others on their fashion and beauty. Look, I'm not trying to be mean but have you seen her? Uhhhh.. Ummm.. Yea.. How about no. Also, why is it okay for her to say these truly awful things about people and no one gets mad at her? Because yes, obviously we need more people spreading hate.
3. Justin Bieber.
Dude. I like some of his songs and so I used to try to stay very objective and not join in on the "let's hate JBiebs" bandwagon. Then he went and acted a fool at his deposition. I don't know if I've ever wanted to punch a teenage boy in the face so hard. He has tipped the scale from being a kid who got famous too quickly with money to burn to now being a little punk who has no respect for anyone, including himself. Get outta here with that shit.
… I'm also really disappointed in myself for linking a TMZ article up there. I really dislike TMZ.
4. Lady Gaga.
I just don't get it/her. I only think she's annoying because she feels like she needs to dress so over the top any time a camera might be aimed in her direction. It was funny and shocking at first and so she sold a lot of magazines and stuff, but now it's just annoying. I just avoid looking at her. It's really a shame that she annoys me so much, because I listen to a crap ton of her songs. OH and it really annoys me that she's dating someone so hot like Taylor Kinney. What in the actual hell.
5. The Situation.
He had some random article in that magazine and I actually just laughed out loud. Dude, you're irrelevant now, go away.
Well, I've run out of annoying celebrities to write about. Obviously there are more, but they aren't coming to me right now.
Who do YOU find annoying? Swifty? Lebron? Kanye? Let me know!!