Friday, February 28, 2014

Wallbanger - Blogger Book Club

It is approximately 12:47am on Thursday night and I'm currently re-writing my Blogger Book Club February book review. Even though I worked a 15 hour day and my alarm will be going off Friday morning at 4:45am for a 5:30am workout. Yea, I'm throwing myself a little pity party, feel free to join me - bring booze.
Any-hooo, I know on Monday I promised a super hilarious review on the February BBC book and let me tell you, my original post was hilarious. HOWEVER, I can't post that. I just had a lot of time to think about it and earlier tonight I decided I needed to re-write it and... tone it down a bit, I guess you could say. So, I'm just going to start from scratch and make this short and sweet... and boring.
Then I'm announcing March's BBC book!

Let's start with the basics.. For anyone new, click here and read a little more about Blogger Book Club.
It's good stuff, you should join.
Now let's start with February's book...

By Alice Clayton

GoodReads Summary - 
The first night after Caroline moves into her fantastic new San Francisco apartment, she realizes she's gaining an intimate knowledge of her new neighbor's nocturnal adventures. Thanks to paper-thin walls and the guy's athletic prowess, she can hear not just his bed banging against the wall but the ecstatic response of what seems (as loud night after loud night goes by) like an endless parade of women. And since Caroline is currently on a self-imposed dating hiatus, and her neighbor is clearly lethally attractive to women, she finds her fantasies keep her awake even longer than the noise. So when the wallbanging threatens to literally bounce her out of bed, Caroline, clad in sexual frustration and a pink baby-doll nightie, confronts Simon Parker, her heard-but-never-seen neighbor. The tension between them is as thick as the walls are thin, and the results just as mixed. Suddenly, Caroline is finding she may have discovered a whole new definition of neighborly...

In a delicious mix of silly and steamy, Alice Clayton dishes out a hot and hilarious tale of exasperation at first sight...

The Good - 
No, really.. This book doesn't pretend to be anything that it's not and I loved it. The character I thought for sure I was going to dislike I ended up completely loving! The side characters were interesting, but didn't overshadow the main characters.
There were multiple sections where the story was told through text conversations. Loved that.
Also a whole chapter that is told through several character's inner thoughts and it's hilarious!
THEN, Oh thennnnn there was a page and a half at the very end of the book that I laughed so hard during! It was honestly the perfect ending!
Also this might be the first book for BBC that has a HAPPY ENDING. Crazy shit.
I also loved, loved, loved that the author made pretty much all of the characters super huge smartasses. That is SO my cup of tea! I actually want to read more of this author because her dialogue and writing style is so the way I would write if I were writing a book.
The nicknames. Unless you read the book, you're probably thinking "what the hell?" but there are several nicknames throughout the book and it's absolutely something my friends and I would do/have done.

The Bad -
Slightly unrealistic and incredibly predictable, but like I said, this book doesn't pretend to be anything that it's not. It didn't promise me a HUGE twist and it didn't promise that it was going to make me do some serious soul searching after I turned the last page. So this barely falls under "the bad" category.
I can't actually think of anything else to put under here..

Final Thoughts - 
Not only do I recommend this book, but it's also a book I will read again! It was a quick and easy read, it made me laugh out loud, and I closed the book after the final page with a smile on my face. Refreshing.
Also, did I mention that all of her characters were huge smartasses? Loved that.

Link up below and let me know! 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

I know I'm late jumping onto this band wagon, but my mom has been nagging me to read this book, so I'm making it the March book choice so that I will finally do it.
I also figured that with a movie coming out soon and it's popularity that anyone who hasn't read it could read it with me!
I now present to you the Blogger Book Club book choice for March 2014..

Despite the tumor-shrinking medical miracle that has bought her a few years, Hazel has never been anything but terminal, her final chapter inscribed upon diagnosis. But when a gorgeous plot twist named Augustus Waters suddenly appears at Cancer Kid Support Group, Hazel's story is about to be completely rewritten.

We will be linking up for The Fault In Our Stars on Friday, March 28th
Be here or be... there. What? I don't know.. 

The Best of Intentions

Also, two things - Did I link back to the Blogger Book Club page enough? (wink wink nudge nudge) and this link up will be open for 2 more weeks, just a heads up! So go read this book NOW if you haven't already and then write a review and link up! If you let me know you've done it late, I'll give some shout outs to you to drive more traffic to your blog!
Third thing - It is now 1:33am and I'm finished! Boom. Bedtime.

Thursday, February 27, 2014

The Blogmopolitan Quiz

Hi, I'm feeling lazy today.
And I didn't participate in this the last time, so I'm going to now.
Erin made this quiz that's a blog knockoff of the quizzes in Cosmo magazines that the cover person fills out.
If you want to participate, go to Erin's blog and pick up an empty quiz!
See you guys back here tomorrow for the Blogger Book Club linkup for Wallbanger!

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Blog Followers vs. Blog Readers

I think as bloggers there are just some truths out there that apply to 99% of us.
  1. We write because we want people to read it. Otherwise we would write in a private journal that no one would ever read.
  2. We like to talk about blogging
  3. We love gifs.
I just think those are basically indisputable facts. Ya know? Are you catchin what I'm pitchin?

This post was absolutely 100% inspired by Ashten's post yesterday.
Go read it now.
I'll wait.


............Okay, so I'm assuming you've now read it and you're all caught up. While she made several (and i do truly mean that. several!!) good points and gave some seriously great and honest advice (seriously, this is not me blowing smoke up her ass) the thing that really made me think some big thoughts was in her first tip. She said -

Anyone can be a “follower” but it takes good, consistent content that creates READERS. Personally: I’d rather have readers over followers.

I read that and I almost shouted YES at the top of my lungs.
There IS a difference between a follower and a reader.

I'm guilty of it too! I follow several blogs on GFC or BlogLovin that I only read once or twice a month (or uh... never). I also follow some blogs that I read every single time they post and I comment frequently. AND THEN sometimes I still read their post every single day and I don't always comment. It happens.
Here's what I know. Let me spit some facts at you..
I have some readers who comment consistently on my blog posts. I recognize these people. I notice these people. I've formed relationships with these people. They are some of my readers.
I like those people. For me, that's what this blogging thing is about.
I see things like Steph and Katie (update: speaking of this bloggy friendship, check out katie's post today), Whitney and Erin, Allie and Brin, etc, etc.. And I mean how could you NOT want that? These people who met through blogging and found their best friends. It's fun to read about it and they all started by being each other's readers.

It's easy to get caught up in the number game.
Number of GFC followers.
Number of BlogLovin followers.
Number of Twitter followers.
Number of Instagram followers.
I get it.
I'm not saying it's all bad. Lots of good comes from some of those numbers for a lot of people. I'm also not saying that wanting to grow those numbers is a bad thing. Heck, I wouldn't mind having a few more hundred followers. I am saying that it's easy to get caught up in those numbers.

Wednesday Conversation Starters
  • Where do you stand on the follower vs. reader discussion?
  • Do you always comment after you've read a post?
  • Are you following me on BlogLovin, Twitter, and Instagram? HAHAH
  • Is the 2nd "L" in BlogLovin supposed to be capitalized.... Or nah?

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

World War Kay - Battle Of The Green Beans

I think I've decided that Tuesday is going to be the unofficial day that I write about fitness and weight loss and such. If I don't declare a day, then things could get out of hand and this little place in Bloglandia that I call home could turn into one of those weight loss blogs and then I'd have to start living up to certain expectations and laaa deee daaaaaahhhh, we just aren't going to even go there.
So, Tuesdays - all things fitness and weight loss. Maybe next week I'll try to think of a clever name or something. Don't hold your breath though.

Moving right along, today I'm writing to document what happened to me last night, because I want to always remember it for the rest of forever.

Sunday I had a Mary Kay party and just in general spent the entire day doing all things Mary Kay.
Sundays are usually my meal prep days and my cleaning days and my plan-for-the-week days.
However, I knew going into the weekend that I wasn't going to have Sunday to do all of that, so I got all motivated and shit and cleaned like a crazy person on Friday. Then Friday night I spent watching Harry Potter and making my schedule and my lists for this week.
Side Note: I'm so type A.
Side Side Note: I should've spent Friday night prepping blog posts for this week too, damnit. But finding out what was in the Chamber Of Secrets took priority.
Anyway, I didn't want to meal prep on Friday because I didn't want food sitting in my fridge all weekend that I wasn't even going to touch until Monday. It just all made no logical sense to me, so I just decided I'd wing it on Monday and then Monday night I'd meal prep for the rest of the week.

Friday me and Monday me do not see the world in the same way.
Friday me was all rainbows and butterflies thinking "Oh it'll be no problem to meal plan and grocery shop and meal prep Monday night! You don't have to work any late events, you don't have any meetings, you don't have any tv shows on! What else would you be doing? I mean, really?"
But Monday me wanted to stab Friday me in the eye with a fork.

Problem #1 - It was Monday. Who in their right mind wants to grocery shop and cook for the week on a Monday?
Problem #2 - I had a ton of other things I needed to get done last night and none of them included cooking or grocery shopping.
Problem #3 - The BIGGEST PROBLEM.. I'm over it. I did not want to go to the gym Monday morning. I did not want to eat broccoli. I didn't want to eat plain chicken. I didn't want asparagus. I just didn't. I'm over it.

I was walking up and down the isles of the grocery store getting down-right irate. I was just so pissed. I didn't want any of the food I knew I needed to buy and I didn't want to go home and cook it up. I got to the end of the store and had almost nothing in my cart because I was just so mad and I didn't want anything. So there I am, standing in the dairy section taking deep breaths and trying to calm down. I'm totally not kidding when I say that I was legitimately ticked off. It was like I had just gotten in a fight with my sister or something. So I'm doing my count to ten thing and realized how psycho I looked. I'm angry that I have to purchase green beans.
Just re-read that sentence. I was angry and borderline throwing a temper tantrum next to the milk and butter because I had to buy green beans.

So I turned around and went back through the store again and started making choices.
Then I came home and I cooked for an hour and a half.

When I was doing the dishes, I realized the most amazing thing.. I just won that battle.
Before, today would have been a day when I would've given up. I wouldn't have bought broccoli or green beans, because I didn't want broccoli and green beans. I wouldn't have gone home and cooked for the week because I didn't want to go home and cook for the week. I just wouldn't have done any of it. I would've given up and then vowed the next week to start my "healthy lifestyle" all over again.
But yesterday, I won a battle.
And battles win wars.

Monday, February 24, 2014

Who Am I? And Where Have I Been?

Well look who showed up to the party today..
Hint: It's me, in case there was some confusion there.
And truthfully, I almost didn't show up again today.
I really hate the word "busy" and I even talked about it on my birthday, so I refuse to give that lame excuse to you guys. I'm also not going to give that lame excuse to you guys, because I don't really think it's true. I haven't been any busier than I usually am, I just couldn't get my shit together. I've been working so hard and spending so much time and using so much brain space working on other things that I dropped the ball. My bloggy got neglected.

So let's play quick catch up.
Hi, I'm Kay.

I woke up Saturday morning and discovered that it was National Margarita Day.
Why did no one give me a heads up about this? All of you are in the dog house.
Anyway, I "forced" my twin to celebrate with me.

I've also been listening to this song way, way too much.

True Life: I'm addicted to Vine.
These are 2 viners that I really like and they came out with this song and I follow them both on Twitter (jack g and jack j) and Instagram and they're both Seniors in high school, so that's all a little weird. I KNOW.
I need an intervention.
Also, they have a YouTube channel.
Seriously, about that intervention...

I had my very first party as a Mary Kay Independent Beauty Consultant on Sunday.
Guys, 2014 is going to be a really good year.

Other things to note:
  • The Olympics are over. I'm a little sad.
  • Whitney announced her new IWYP shirt. You don't want to miss this.
  • All 5 seasons of Breaking Bad are now on Netflix. You're welcome for this information. 
  • Speaking of TV shows, most of my shows resume this week. Holla.
  • I'll be over on Pleas(e) and Carrots tomorrow, come see me.
  • The Blogger Book Club link-up is this Friday. Seriously, don't miss this one, because I'm hilarious. I rarely admit (or believe) that I'm funny, but I was LOLing at myself writing the review. I'm going to have to revise it this week to make sure it's appropriate.

Also, here's my motivation for the week. I love this so much, I might print it out and frame it.

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Meal Preppin'

Okay, so this was a requested post and even though I don't know why anyone wants to know how I spend my Sundays, I decided to go with it.
This is my 4th week using Sundays as meal prep days and prepping for the whole week.
So umm.. I guess I'll just run through my Sunday with you guys?

First things first, the biggest thing I've learned is that meal planning is key. Way more important that meal prepping. I sit down before I decide to go grocery shopping and write out exactly what I'm going to eat Monday-Friday. I always consider 2 things -
  1. What do I have going on during the week that week? Am I working athletic events any nights that week? Do I have any meetings any night that week? Etc.
  2. What food do I already have that needs to be cooked or eaten to reduce waste?
Those are the 2 big things I've realized I need to plan around. So first I decide what I'm going to eat and then I make a grocery list for the things I don't already have.

The next step is to grab your purse, lock your apartment door, walk down to your car, start your car, get down the road, and then realize you've forgotten your grocery list.
Actually, to be efficient you might want to just skip that step.

Oh, but the next important step is to get to the grocery store, determined to not stray from your list.. but then you see that blueberries are on sale and that's unheard of! So you buy them. And then you mentally re-write your meal plan.

So alright, I'll be honest.. I didn't time myself food prepping. So I have no idea how long it actually took me. To be fair, It definitely took me longer than it usually does this time. One, because I had decided on a lot of foods that all needed the oven. Two, because I bought those damn blueberries so I had to make blueberry pancakes with them and that's time consuming-ish. Three, because I was doing about 6 other things while I was food prepping, so I didn't cook non-stop.
I'm bad at this, guys.

Here's a better/closer look at my plan for this week.

I made oven fajitas using this recipe.

I also made roasted sweet potatoes using this recipe.

 I made whole wheat blueberry pancakes using this recipe.

I cooked up some cous cous and veggies.

I baked some chicken tenderloins (i know those look huge, but they are, it's just a super small pan).

Things not pictured:
  • Hardboiled eggs. (anyone with a super amazing tip on making them easier to peel? don't suggest it unless it's beyond amazing because i've tried everything)
  • Cut-up apples for 2 days, soaked in lemon water.
  • Diced a tomato for my salad.
  • Cooked some brown rice.
  • Portioned some peanut butter into little containers. (for my apples)
  • I opened a can of green beans, because I already had them and I'm cheap.

Because I'm already anticipating some questions, here are some of the answers -
No fruits? Uh nope, not many.. I like fruit, a lot and fruit has a lot of sugar in it. I'm watching my sugar fairly closely right now, so uh yea.. Not many fruits.
Not counting calories? No, not right now. This isn't for everyone, but for me I KNOW what my portion sizes are supposed to be and I KNOW high calorie foods vs. low calorie foods. I just don't always do it. So currently I'm not keeping completely accurate track, because that's not where I struggle.
No cheese? I know.. I'm depressed. I'm trying to go very light cheese this week.. I love cheese. Ugh.. I miss it already.
So, what are you trying to do? All veggie, all the time. I'm trying to eat as many veggies as I possibly. It blows.

Okay, so here's another disclaimer.. GUYS, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING!

Monday, February 17, 2014

Do You Wanna Build A Snowman?

This morning I have a case of the wants..
I want winter to be over.
I want IU to win tomorrow night.
I want to own a home.
I want a dog.
I want to devour all of the Reese's eggs in the state of Indiana.
I want ABC Family to un-cancel Ravenswood since I was just starting to actually enjoy it.
I want to win the lottery.
I want Frozen to be out on DVD so I can watch it repeatedly. #OlafForPresident

Do you know what I think?
I think I can want and want and want all day long.. but that isn't very productive.
This week I need to be productive.
Like crazy person productive.
Like college finals week productive.

I also need to finish the Blogger Book Club book for this month!! Join me!

Oh also, I got an email last week and guess what.. I was nominated for an award.
No, I'm not pulling your leg.
At first I was just like "Oh, that's really sweet" and then I started clicking around and discovered that this is legit!
">My So-Called Chaos Best of Blog Awards

THEN I LAUGHED OUT LOUD, because I was nominated for a blogging award in the category Best Single Bloggers.
So, if you want to, because you totally DO NOT have to, you can vote for my blog for "Round 1" voting until February 20th. It's really easy to vote, but it kind of sucks a little because you are forced to vote in every single category. So, do as you please.
And to whoever nominated me, THANK YOU! 

#singleperks #single4lyfe

Friday, February 14, 2014

If I Had A Valentine..

For today's post we're all going to need to use our imagination.
Let's pretend for a few minutes that I had a boyfriend.
Then let's pretend this boyfriend asked for suggestions on what to get me for Valentine's Day.
Next let's also pretend I didn't punch him in the face for asking what HE should get ME.

Anyway, if for some reason I didn't injure said boyfriend and I actually gave him a little list of things I might want for Valentine's Day, this would be the list..

>>---> Red Velvet Macarons. Obviously. If you clicky here you can find a recipe to make these lovely things.. Let me know when you're delivering them to my house. Thanks in advance.
>>---> Mary Kay Ultimate Mascara.. THE BEST EVER! I'm what you'd call a "mascara snob" and this is THE best. I'm not kidding even a tiny little bit. If you want to try it, you can click here and order it (or anything else) me. Do it, I promise you won't regret it. LOVE this stuff!
>>---> Kendra Scott. *drool*.. This necklace actually comes in 16 colors. I want approximately 15 of them.

>>---> Yea, I'm the loser who'd want sheets for Valentine's Day, but gray and white stripes! I can't resist these cuties!
>>---> If I had a Valentine, I'd demand this card. And oops.. I just spent 20 minutes browsing this Etsy shop. She's awesome and I bookmarked so many things I want now!
>>---> I'll give you all a moment to act shocked that I want something from Kate Spade... Moments over. I love it, I want it, I gotta have it. Plus, the gold bow.. AH, I die.

>>---> There's actually a 95% chance that I order this for myself. Where my Hoosier girls at? Candy stripes, am I right? Anyway.. This whole Etsy shop is GOLD. TONS of super affordable infinity scarfs!
>>---> The gold, the knot, the diamonds! I want it!
>>---> I pretty much want every shoe from Julianna Hough's Sole Society collection, but I love these booties! I really want a cute pair of booties and these are the ones I want.. Thanks in advance, again.

Now I'm almost regretting showing you guys all of these because now you're all going to go off and get them and I'm not going to have them..
Now I'm really jealous.

Anyway, please browse this link-up from Sarah and Helene.. I already know it's going to be hilariously awesome.
I mean, check out the button..

Venus Trapped in Mars

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

A Problem In College Athletics - Smart vs. Orr

I can't believe I'm about to actually write about this.
I'm currently telling myself to not continue writing and to let this go.
Please, dear baby Jesus, just let it go..

But I can't.

If you don't watch sports at all or if you don't follow college basketball even a little bit, then you might not know what the heck I'm about to talk about.
In quick summary, Texas Tech and Oklahoma St. college basketball teams played each other over the weekend and near the end of the game a Texas Tech fan, Jeff Orr, said something to an Oklahoma St. player, Marcus Smart, and the Oklahoma St. player shoved the Texas Tech fan.
Video below.

Now, here's where I need to just keep my mouth shut.
I have an opinion on this situation.

Marcus Smart is claiming that Jeff Orr called him THE "N" word. 
Jeff Orr is claiming he called Marcus Smart "a piece of crap".
Okay, first of all.. Unfortunately college athletes (and professional athletes for that matter) hear insults like "piece of crap" every single day and that multiples by approximately a thousand during an actual game. Hell, his teammates have probably called him worse things than "a piece of crap". I do not, in any way, AT ALL believe that Jeff Orr simply called Marcus Smart "a piece of crap". I will not beat around the bush about this. I think Jeff Orr is lying out his ass. Honestly, Marcus Smart has no real reason to lie about this and Jeff Orr has every reason to lie. So there's that. Also, it wasn't as if Marcus Smart reacted, then went to the locker room, and THEN said that Jeff Orr used the "N" word. No, Marcus Smart told the referee on the court, seconds after, that Jeff Orr was being racist. He didn't have time to make that up.

Marcus Smart was given a technical foul and then suspended for 3 games.
Jeff Orr voluntarily said he would not attend anymore Texas Tech games this year.
I don't necessarily have a problem with Marcus Smart's "punishment". I'll get into this more a little later, but regardless of anything else, Marcus Smart reacted poorly and the "punishment" pretty accurately fits the "crime". I have a problem with Jeff Orr's "punishment". First, he shouldn't have had the opportunity to voluntarily not attend any further games this season. That should have been a given and should have been put in place by Texas Tech. Period. Second, it's mid-February and the college basketball season is nearing it's end. Also, I just checked.. there are 3 more home Texas Tech games this year. So essentially Jeff Orr is voluntarily not coming to 3 more games. Next year the problem will still be there.

Texas Tech defended and backed Jeff Orr more than Oklahoma St. defended and backed Marcus Smart.
I'm being naive, I know this. It just frustrates me that a college will defend a fan more than another college will defend a student and athlete. It's frustrating and I think it's a flaw in the system. Unfortunately, I can't say that this surprises me all that much.

Several media outlets are dismissing Jeff Orr's behavior by claiming he's just a "super fan".
I work in college athletics and I have for 6 years now. I know all about "super fans". I know plenty, many, tons of super fans that do not act like assholes. Regardless of what degree of a fan you are, there has to be some amount of respect on your part and the same amount of respect on the athletes part. This is not always the case and THAT is a problem in sports in general. It is unfortunate.

Marcus Smart is 19.
Jeff Orr is 40+.
THIS IS A PROBLEM. HOW can we expect a 19 year old to react with poise and restraint when we don't expect a middle aged man to do the same? HOW?!

Closing Thoughts
I don't want this to sound like I'm excusing Marcus Smart's behavior because I'm not. There's never a situation where shoving a fan is the correct answer. However, I am saying that I understand Marcus Smart's reaction. And I'm really, really saying that I think in college athletics and in sports, in general, the biggest problem isn't the Marcus Smarts, it's the Jeff Orrs. By excusing Jeff Orr's behavior we are excusing others like him and there are many just like him. This is a problem and it grinds my gears.

If you want to read a fabulous article about this, click here.
What do you think? Am I being naive? Do I need a chill pill? Do you not give a shit?

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Lifestyle Changes

I've gotten a couple questions in the last few weeks about my "diet" (ew, nasty word) and my new fitness lifestyle change. Because I'm attempting to avoid writing about and thinking about a list of other topics, I'm going to talk about this. I'm the master of avoidance.

So... Okay..

Why Is This Time Different?
I'm started an exercise plan a hundred times and I've started diets probably a thousand times. I've even been "really serious" about it a few times. So why is this time special? I don't know. I don't have a good and magical answer for anyone.
I haven't had a big health scare that kicked my ass into gear.
I don't have a wedding or other big event that I'm losing weight for.
There isn't one thing about this time that makes it any different from any of the other times. Nothing except the way I feel. This time is different because it feels different.

No, Really.. What Makes This Time Different?
I know myself a lot better than I knew myself before. Instead of battling against myself, I've learned to work with myself.
Here's what I mean by that..
-I can't trust myself to do workout dvds regularly at home on my own. So I joined a gym with a friend. We keep each other accountable. The act of physically leaving my apt and going to the gym is another mental thing for me too. It gets me ready to workout and push hard through an entire workout. I tried the at-home gym thing, several times. At this stage, it doesn't work for me. I'm hoping that's not forever, but that's where I am today.
-I like instant gratification. Obviously, losing weight and changing my body isn't an instant thing. I had read so many blogs about how terrible it was to live and die by the scale, so I had totally freaked myself out and only weighed myself once a month. Doing this wasn't working for me. The last few weeks I've weighed myself once a week and that's working much better right now. If I've lost, I feel good and I can have a little party with myself. If I've gained, I can easily look at my week and figure out what I've done wrong. This is not going to work forever. Eventually I absolutely see myself going back to weighing myself once a month. However, right now, to get going, I need to see the changes quicker than that.
-Losing weight isn't enough motivation for me. This is a weird one. You'd think that it'd be more than enough, but it's been years and apparently it's not. I seriously don't understand that, but hey, there it is. So, a few weeks ago I made mini goals. Just a few other things for me to work toward. I want to run a 5k, so I'm running. I have zero arm strength, so I'm going hard on arms. So I'm focusing on those two things right now and eventually I'll add more. I have no butt, zero butt, so I'm eventually going to start a squat challenge and get myself a little booty. Holla.
-Sometimes I don't want to cook dinner or prepare lunches. Now, I don't give myself the option. It's a convenience thing and it's a lazy thing. It's easier to get Subway or Taco Bell or eat a pizza lunchable. Easier. Not better. So the last few weeks I've meal planned hard on Sunday and then cooked 90% of my meals for Mon-Thurs on Sunday. I don't ever want to do it, but I have to or I know I'll make bad decisions through the week. Right now, it's working. I make the meal plan and I follow that meal plan. So there's not thinking during the week.
-I love carbs. Oh man, carbs, carbs, carbs.. and cheese. Oh cheese. Look, I've been there, I've tried it, I've done it. I've tried completely cutting things out of my diet to lose weight. It's never worked. Because it's not realistic. I like those things, so when I can't have them at all, I freak out and binge. My strategy now is to limit them. I still eat them, just less often. I fill out my meals with veggies now. Do I always love it, no.
-It's so mental for me. Now that I know that and now that I've completely accepted that, things are coming together. I'm my very worst critic and I know this. I wouldn't ever let anyone speak to me the way I talk to myself sometimes. So I've stopped.

I Don't Know What I'm Doing
Look, I'm just making this up as I go.
I have absolutely no clue what I'm talking about 75% of the time.
This is just where I am right now, today.
I hope with all my might that in a month or four that this isn't where I am. I hope I'm in a much better place.
Until then, I'm just chuggin along.

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