Uh quick side note before I actually start this post - If you don't know the movie the above line came from, well it'd be a lot cooler if you did. (p.s. that was your 2nd hint)
Anyway, lately I've noticed a lot of new faces in my comments and on my Twitter and I've never in the history of TBOI really done an "About Me" post. Mostly because I think those can be really boring. Sorry, but usually they drag on and on a little bit. Like honestly, who gives a hoot what my favorite color and my favorite animal are?
But I've gotten a lot of questions, usually the same ones over and over, and I have so many new faces that we're gonna do a quick and painless and probably hilarious GET TO KNOW ME post. First up..
FAQ (also known as Frequently Asked Questions)
Q: Why does Allie call you Kristen? -or- Why does your email say Kristen?
A: This is one of my most popular questions and I get it at least once a week. First, Allie has read my blog for a long time and way back in August 2013 I wrote a post about secrets and I told everyone that SURPRISE, my name isn't actually Kay. It's Kristen. Allie has always remembered that and has mentioned it a couple times on her blog.
To go into it a little more than I did in that post, basically in junior high a girl moved to my school and her name was also Kristen and we became friends and our whole group of friends always had to call us by our first and last name so we wouldn't get confused. In high school people started calling us nicknames and then strictly by our last names. Eventually my friends started calling me "KStoll" pronounced "Kay-Stoll". One year I needed a pen name for an English assignment and ended up using "Kay Stoll" because it was the spelled out version of my nickname "KStoll" and it just kind of stuck around. A lot of my friends still call me KStoll.
Also, the other Kristen and I ended up having our high school graduation party together and she's still my best friend and her pug Shooter is my first nephew and I'm obsessed with him. So how bout them apples?
Q: What is going on with your family? It's confusing.
A: I've actually already answered this. HERE. But I'll review it again really quickly - My mom and my dad had me and my younger sister then they divorced. My mom remarried and now I have a stepdad, who had 2 sons from his previous marriage. They are my stepbrothers and are both older than me. Then my mom and stepdad had another boy, so he's technically my half brother, but we don't use that term, ever. My dad never remarried. That's pretty much the answer. It's only ever confusing because sometimes I call myself the oldest child and sometimes I call myself the middle child and yea, I understand the confusion. For cool graphs and a better explanation click here.
A: Well, that's a good question. My mom, my stepdad, and my aunt read every post, that I know for sure. My sister knows I have a blog, but my sister has a huge aversion to reading in general, so I'm not sure if she's ever read a post. Some of my mom's friends know (HEY MARION!) and most of my close friends know, but I'm not sure how often any of them read this. I don't really blame them, they have like lives and shit.
However, I don't know who else knows? I did recently discover that someone I went to high school with has found my blog and has read some of it. That's always fun. Actually, I really like her, so it's no big deal, but that kind of opened my eyes that maybe other people read this and I just don't know it? Shoutout to those people.
Plot Twist!Now is the part of the post where I answer some questions that were submitted to me.
Q: Anonymous asked: Gay marriage? Yay or Nay?
A: Truthfully and bluntly, I think we have a lot more problems going on in our world than whether or not a man marries a man or a woman marries a woman. Truthfully and bluntly, my male neighbor's marriage to a man doesn't effect my life in any shape, way, or form. Truthfully and bluntly, I think there are a lot worse things you could be than a lesbian. Truthfully and bluntly, I believe the bible is an interpretation of God's word and everyone can interpret those words differently.
Oh and "it's human rights for everybody, there is no difference."
"No freedom 'til we're equal.. Damn right I support it."
Q: Katie asked: Meanest thing you've ever done to your sibling?
A: HAHAH, probably the time when we were really young and I put a puzzle piece between my knuckles, with the pointy edge sticking out, and punched my sister in the leg. No clue why, but she cried. I don't actually remember getting in trouble for that though..
Q: Laura asked: How did your parents give you the sex talk?
A: When I was in 3rd grade there were all of these commercials on TV that would start with one person saying "Are you going to talk to your child about sex?" and then in sequence a bunch of people would say "Because I will" and then "I will", "I will", "I will". They were weird commercials. Anyway I very distinctly remember laying on my mom's bed with her and that commercial came on and then after it was over I just straight up asked her about sex and then she told me. I think because my mom didn't make it a big deal and some big production, I never thought of it as a big deal or anything. She answered my question and that was that. I went back to watching Mary Kate and Ashley or something.
I also don't remember exactly what she said, but knowing my mom I'm pretty certain she didn't use some stupid analogy like birds and bees or anything. I'm sure she said the P word and the V word (i don't want to type them because then those search terms will lead people to my blog and i'll be spammed like a mofo) and told me exactly how it happened in pretty plain, average terms. That's my mom. No sugarcoating, just straight up facts.
Q: Brit asked: First boyfriend?
A: I'm assuming I'm supposed to talk about my first boyfriend? So okay.. I don't think elementary school boyfriends count, so let's jump to 8th grade. I dated a boy named Blake and "our song" was this..
#TrueLife. Also I broke up with him and then he wrote me a poem about his heartbreak and how much he loved me and how he wanted me back and I still have it. I read it once a week for a confidence booster.
Q: Sam asked: What was your worst autocorrect fail?
A: Well, I don't know if this is necessarily the worst, but it's the one that we STILL talk about all the time. I was talking to my bff about some guy she hooked up, who I affectionatally referred to as "FratDouche". And this happened..
No semen. None with FratDouche. Ever. None. And yea, we still talk about this autocorrect all the time because we think it's hilarious and I'm sure none of you guys will.. So there's that.
Ps. That was when I had my Android and I suffered from #AndroidProbs every. single. day.
Q: Alison asked: If you had to pick a cheese to represent you, what cheese would you pick and why?
A: This is my favorite question in all the land. Here's the deal, I've just spent the last 45 minutes attempting to answer this question. No lie. I did a quick Google search of cheese types and you know what happens during a Google search.. One thing leads to another which leads to another and then I landed on THIS golden nugget. I read through all of their descriptions for the different cheeses twice and I've decided I'm probably American Cheese because it says:
You are sweet, but you might not have ever left your hometown. You definitely love grilled cheese sandwiches and cartoons. OH, you might be nine -- are you nine?Which is obviously my life.
So I hope you guys learned a little bit more about me. Obviously these were the burning questions you guys wanted to know. Feel free to ask some more awesomely fun questions and I'll answer them another time.
Autobots, roll out.