Life's Greatest Mysteries

I'm on a plane (I'm on a plane)
I'm on a plane (I'm on a plane)
Everybody look at me cause I'm flying on a plane!

I miss when this song was played every weekend at every party and on every boat on the lake. Sigh.. I've just decided I'm going to give it a comeback.

So today's post, right. Let's get back on track. Basically sometimes my brain takes me to places that are confusing to normal people, it's a gift and a curse, really. I started thinking of one thing and then this little list just snowballed and my thumbs were moving a mile a minute because I was trying to get all of this down in my Notes app on my phone before I forgot any of it.
Life's mysteries.. 

1. Where do we get the names for things? For instance, why is a book called a "book". Who decided to put those vowels and consonants together and form the word book? And why do we call a book a book? Why don't we call it a "fan"? Who decided what gets called what? And what, so everyone is just supposed to follow that one person who decides that a book is a book?

2. While we're on the subject, who named Earth? Right? Who decided that? A committee or just one person? Was it like a dictatorship thing?

3. Who decided that the alphabet was the alphabet? Who put the letters in that order and decided that's how it was going to be for forever? I'm not talking just in English either. In all languages there is an alphabet and the letters go in a specific order. Who decided that? That's a big responsibility, right?

4. Who decided "fuck" was a bad word? Why is it a really big deal when someone says that? What makes that word worse than "table"? Is it what is behind the word? Like "fuck" means "sex" so it's bad? But we can say "sex".. just not "fuck"? I'm not saying Voldemort or anything here, just fuck, but I'm getting crucified.

5. Why are mid-season finales a thing?

6. What went through Michael Jordan's head when he said "YES" to making Space Jam? Don't get me wrong, I watched Space Jam last night for the 1st time in years and loved every gosh darn second of it. I'm just saying, why in the hell did Michael Jordan agree to make this movie? I just.. don't understand. I love it, but I don't understand. Side Note: I still get pumped the heck up when they start playing "I believe I can flyyyyyy"

7. Why are there people who round down when figuring out the cost of something? The sticker price says $3.99, so my head automatically rounds up to $4, because.. obviously, right? But there are people in my life who say "Hey, this book is $3.99.. Can you believe they're selling this for $3?!".. Well, no I can't believe it.. because they aren't. Didn't you learn rounding in like 2nd grade? Come on now, man! Round up, ROUND. UP.

actual photo i took to send to someone as a reference for a homemade beer bong. i'm a little ashamed, but also not.

8. When your tv remote isn't working correctly, usually because the battery is about to die, why do we press really hard on the buttons like that is going to fix the problem? Everyone does it and it makes no sense. There is no direct correlation between pressing so hard our finger turns white and the remote/battery working more effectively. The battery is dead, but instead of changing it I'm just going to sit here and bang the remote on my hand a few times and then press hard enough to pop my knuckle pressing the volume up button.

9. Why do children between the ages of 9-13 have Twitters and Instagrams? Do you know what I see them tweet? Things like "omg fist me" to their favorite male celebrity. Excuse you? Do you even understand what you just said? Also, why are you saying that to him? You look creepy. When I was 9 I loved N*Sync, but I never asked JT to fist me. I'm 1,000% sure I didn't even know what fisting was.

10. Where are their parents? ^

11. Why do people not use their turn signals when they are about to turn? Hmmm? Why? WHY?! I think bad thoughts about those people. Angry, emo thoughts.

12. Why do I open my mouth as wide as possible when I'm applying mascara? Seriously, I've tried not to do it, but I can't. I open my mouth so wide I look like I'm giving..


Okay, that's enough for today. If you have any mysterious life questions that you don't have an answer for, leave them in the comments below and mayyyybe I'll add them to a Part 2 of this post. Because I have SO MANY QUESTIONS.

Also, to follow along on my vacation follow me on Instagram - @MissKayStoll. Just do it, don't make me beg..

Take a picture, triiiick. I'm on a plane, biiiitch.