baby, i'ma be your motivation

For all you old folks reading my blog (aka my parents and my spare set of parents) here's a YouTube video to reference since I'm sure you don't understand the title of this post.

Let's also pause and talk about how I'm a white girl from Indiana saying "I'ma" like it's normal. Makin' my parents proud. It's okay, because my brother wore a Lil Wayne tshirt in our Christmas pictures once, so I'm the least of their problems. You're welcome.

So last night while I was doing my Jillian Michaels DVD trying not to die, I realized my head wants to quit way before my body does. It is really 80% mental. When I do the DVD I almost always do it alone and it is so stinkin' easy for me to take breaks or stop when it hurts instead of pushing through it. Well, last night I was cursing Jillian in my living room and about to take a break when my eye caught a picture I have framed near my TV. Seeing that picture was like the little spark of motivation I needed to finish the set I was on. For the rest of the workout I just kept looking at the picture. Kept my focus on that one thing.

After I finished with Jillian I was sitting on my couch and thinking about what motivates people. You hear all the time that when they finally started to lose weight it was because something just "clicked".

Unfortunately I haven't had that moment yet. Nothing has clicked, and nothing has clacked. BUT.. I think I've found some new motivation that I didn't have before. You'd think I'd have found motivation a long time ago. I read so many blogs, and quite a few of them are weight loss blogs, so you'd think by now I'd be full of motivation. Apparently that wasn't the case. At least not all the way.

Different things motivate different people. Before last night, I was trying to find motivation in others. Does that makes sense? Am I talking crazy again? I was using Mama Laughlin's success story as motivation or Elle Noel's story as motivation. I was looking at Julianna Hough and saying yea, I want that. I was looking at my friends and saying "I could be them". I was looking at my piss-poor family health history and saying "I'm gonna avoid that".

But last night, none of those things were helping me finishing Jillian's workout. Actually this is the picture I saw..

That was my Senior year of high school. 5 Years ago. I remember back then thinking I was so huge. But now I think, man I'd love to be that size. It's hilarious actually. But the point is, last night when I saw this picture I started thinking about being this size and then my brain jumped from thinking that to thinking I could be smaller than that. I don't know, that's when I just decided that my motivation needs to be me.

So today I've been collecting and compiling a bunch of things I'm going to be printing out and posting ALL OVER my apartment. Just little things that'll remind me why I need to finish my last set of crunches or biceps curls or the dreaded burpees.

So, what motivates you?