Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Don't bother reading this..

So funny story.

I had intended to do a little "iPhone photo dump" as today's post because
a. I'm lazy
b. I had nothing else to blog about
c. I didn't know what else to do with the photos
d. all of the above

Guess.

If you guessed "d." YOU ARE CORRECT! What do you win? Nothing.

No really, you win nothing. Mostly because Blogger/Google is angry with me and nothing is working correctly! I can't upload the photos. I actually can't get Blogger on my laptop to work very well, at all.

Which is totally fine, because I've got a huge running list of blogs I've been meaning to catch up on and now I can.

But now you don't get a good post because I'm typing this on the Blogger app on my phone. Which sucks by the way.

Honestly if you're still with me at this point, I don't know why you're reading this post at all. You must really, really be avoiding work. Poor thing.

But that also means that we should be friends, because I'm avoiding work too. Peas in a pod, you and me.

Okay I'm done. This is getting embarrassing for the both of us.


Friday, April 26, 2013

baby, i'ma be your motivation

For all you old folks reading my blog (aka my parents and my spare set of parents) here's a YouTube video to reference since I'm sure you don't understand the title of this post.


Let's also pause and talk about how I'm a white girl from Indiana saying "I'ma" like it's normal. Makin' my parents proud. It's okay, because my brother wore a Lil Wayne tshirt in our Christmas pictures once, so I'm the least of their problems. You're welcome.

So last night while I was doing my Jillian Michaels DVD trying not to die, I realized my head wants to quit way before my body does. It is really 80% mental. When I do the DVD I almost always do it alone and it is so stinkin' easy for me to take breaks or stop when it hurts instead of pushing through it. Well, last night I was cursing Jillian in my living room and about to take a break when my eye caught a picture I have framed near my TV. Seeing that picture was like the little spark of motivation I needed to finish the set I was on. For the rest of the workout I just kept looking at the picture. Kept my focus on that one thing.

After I finished with Jillian I was sitting on my couch and thinking about what motivates people. You hear all the time that when they finally started to lose weight it was because something just "clicked".

Unfortunately I haven't had that moment yet. Nothing has clicked, and nothing has clacked. BUT.. I think I've found some new motivation that I didn't have before. You'd think I'd have found motivation a long time ago. I read so many blogs, and quite a few of them are weight loss blogs, so you'd think by now I'd be full of motivation. Apparently that wasn't the case. At least not all the way.

Different things motivate different people. Before last night, I was trying to find motivation in others. Does that makes sense? Am I talking crazy again? I was using Mama Laughlin's success story as motivation or Elle Noel's story as motivation. I was looking at Julianna Hough and saying yea, I want that. I was looking at my friends and saying "I could be them". I was looking at my piss-poor family health history and saying "I'm gonna avoid that".

But last night, none of those things were helping me finishing Jillian's workout. Actually this is the picture I saw..


That was my Senior year of high school. 5 Years ago. I remember back then thinking I was so huge. But now I think, man I'd love to be that size. It's hilarious actually. But the point is, last night when I saw this picture I started thinking about being this size and then my brain jumped from thinking that to thinking I could be smaller than that. I don't know, that's when I just decided that my motivation needs to be me.

So today I've been collecting and compiling a bunch of things I'm going to be printing out and posting ALL OVER my apartment. Just little things that'll remind me why I need to finish my last set of crunches or biceps curls or the dreaded burpees.

So, what motivates you?


Wednesday, April 24, 2013

When you realize your parents brainwashed you..

Okay, so no chatty introduction today, let's just get right down to business..

My parents brainwashed me.. and I just realized it.

Today I turned on Pandora radio and randomly chose to put it on the 80's station. This was not weird to me at all. Apparently my co-workers think differently.

"Weren't you born in 1990?"
"How do you even know these songs?"
"I'm 37 and I don't even know this song!"

Uh.. I'm sorry I know all of the words to "Summer of 69" and almost every Journey song? But I know them because my parents brainwashed me, you guys. I swear!

Look, I'm making a list..

1.     I don't know all of the words or the titles of every song, but if a Pearl Jam song comes on, I immediately know it's Pearl Jam. Why? Because they were the ONLY cds my step-dad played in his car. So every single time we were in his car, we were listening to Pearl Jam.. or Mike&Mike sports talk radio. This went on for YEARS..


2.     I know what a double dribble is and I know what off sides means. Growing up my dad would practically force me to watch sports with him, aka he would be watching sports and I wanted to hang out with him, so I was also forced to watch. Every time I asked a question he'd answer, but then the next time we were watching, he'd quiz me about whatever he had told me the previous time. Over time I picked up quite a few things simply because I always wanted to pass his tests. Poor guy really needed a boy and not 2 girls.


 3.     My mom doesn't measure ANYTHING when she is cooking. A "dash" and a "pinch" are actual things to her. It actually annoys the crap out of me when I'm asking her for a recipe and she's like "then add about a 1/4 to a 1/2 cup of olive oil".. That's an awfully big difference, mother. But now I've realized, I'm exactly the same way. Don't ask me how much dill I added to *insert recipe here* because I just add until I think it's enough.


4.     Back in the good ol days when my brothers were at our house for the weekend, we always ate our meals all together at the dining room table. While at said dining room table, if we were telling a story and used improper grammar my step dad would say "what?" and we'd repeat the sentence and he'd said "what?" and this would go on until we corrected our grammar. Now I think I'm pretty darn good at grammar and I'm constantly correcting the poor grammar of others in my head. All because it was drilled into me at the dinner table.


5.     My parents forced me to listen to 80's music.. All the time. I remember growing up my mom would randomly have a day where she'd clean the house super good. These were good times to hide in your room and stay out of her way. Anyway, while she did this she always had music blasting throughout THE WHOLE HOUSE.. and a lot of the time it was some 80's music. More recently if we're outside in the pool, my parents are blasting 80's music out of the speakers. Car trips with my dad? Only 80's music. Ever. (and sometimes Zac Brown Band or Tim McGraw).. So really, do you blame me for knowing all of these 80's songs?
Brainwashed. Someone call child services on my parents immediately.

.
...
..


Okay, I'm just kidding. I secretly love these things. I like that when a TV show references an 80s song or a movie from 1979 I usually know what they're talking about and I get the reference and it makes the show funnier.

I love that when I watched Pitch Perfect for the first time I immediately got all of The Breakfast Club references and it made the movie that much better for me. While the girl I went with didn't have a clue.

So I just like to consider myself "well-rounded" for knowing all of these things. I like watching a basketball game and knowing for the most part when it's a charge or a block. And I definitely don't think it's a bad thing that I know my grammar rules.. Even though I don't always follow them.


Christmas Card 2011.. typical family photo

Christmas Card 2012.. it's really a shame we're so normal

To make a long story longer.. I'm pretty dang lucky to have the parents I have.

Even though they've brainwashed me.

dream and little dream

It is currently 3:27am. I'm awake and typing as fast as I can.. because I had a dream that I don't want to forget so I'm trying to write it all out before I forget any of it!

If you follow me on Twitter then you know that I started watching Supernatural 2 weeks ago. My aunt loves it and after a year of her trying to convince me to watch it, I finally caved and started from season 1. Well I'm currently on season 6 and yea, I love it.


Side Note: I watch all kinds of TV shows and none of them fit into one genre. I have a ton of favorites, including NCIS, Criminal Minds, Pretty Little Liars, White Collar, American Horror Story, True Blood, Bones, Law&Order: SVU, Grey's Anatomy, Psych, Breaking Bad.. This list could go on and on and maybe sometime I'll make a complete list and share it with you guys, but the point is, I like a little bit of everything.

So these last 2 weeks I've spent ALL of my free time watching Supernatural.
Doing the dishes? Put Supernatural on.
Folding laundry? Pop the Supernatural DVD in.
Entering data? Supernatural.

You get the picture. Last week I was even staying awake until 1am most nights watching it. This is super late for me considering I have to be awake by 6am, every single day. I've overloaded myself with Supernatural.
 

So last night I went to sleep thinking about, you guessed it, Supernatural. And of course, I ended up dreaming about Supernatural.. sort of.

One of the main characters in Supernatural is Jensen Ackles.



Yea, I'm more than a little in love with him. He's married to Danneel (Harris) Ackles. Danneel was a character on One Tree Hill for a few seasons. You guys already know about my OTH obsession.




So anyway, in my dream Danneel and I are best friends. I'm also apparently an actress (yea, i laughed) on Supernatural. But most of the dream involves Danneel, Jensen and I sitting somewhere on set and talking. I don't really remember why, but for some reason in my dream I'm really upset and stressed out. Probably because that's my real life right now. Anyway, we're sitting there talking and they both start flooding me with advice.

Danneel: "Do whatever you want to do."
Jensen: "You only get one life, make it matter."
Danneel: "It's never too late to start a new path."
Jensen: "If they love you, they'll always stand behind you."
Danneel: "Your dreams are never too big."

And lots more inspirational chit chat. Then they both touched my hands and said "We believe in you." and I woke up. Whoa. Dream Kay knows exactly what Real Life Kay needs to hear. Because that's exactly what I needed to hear.

So on that note, I'm going back to bed for a couple hours. I'm sure I'll be super chipper and happy in the morning. Maybe I'll crank out another blog post.. ya know, in between episodes of Supernatural. #sorrynotsorry


Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Girl, interrupted

I opened up Blogger 3 hours ago and this is the first sentence I've typed.

First of all, I don't know what to blog about. I don't feel like I have anything interesting to say? Then that makes me wonder, am I boring? Am I a freak? (yes) Why don't I have anything interesting to blog about? Why don't I do anything interesting to blog about? Should I blog at all? Should I write about nothing? Should I write about how I went through an entire box of Kleenex in 2 days? Is the sky really blue?

You know how those kinds of self-doubting questions can get away from you and form a little mind of their own. It's tiresome and self destructive.

Second, every time I've sat down to get something done today, I've been interrupted. Oh you need me to do something for you? Sure! Because I totally wasn't sitting here trying to do my own thing. No, you're right. What you're doing is more important. You're more important. No worries.


So how about I just write some bullshit about myself. Oh, I know! I was thinking about this last night! I'll write 3 things I've learned about myself this month! (side note: i was just interrupted again. sigh) I've actually talked before about how I think it's important to learn things about yourself. This still holds true. I think if you aren't growing as a person on a regular basis, you're doing something wrong. But hey, that's just me.

So, 3 things I've learned about myself this month..

Numba One

I chew gum when I'm stressed. All joking aside, I've gone through an embarrassing amount of gum this month. When I caught myself chewing gum IN THE SHOWER, that's when I knew things were getting a bit ridiculous. (interrupted again)


Numba Two

I'm attracted to green eyes. Someone asked me a week or so ago what my "type" was. I didn't really have an answer, so I just started thinking of all of the guys that I find attractive and started looking for similarities. It didn't matter if they were famous or just a hometown boy I know, 75% of them had green eyes. I have green eyes, so I sort of wonder if maybe that's why I'm attracted to them? Dark hair, green eyes.. sign me up. Seriously.

Jensen Ackles


Numba Three

I am a TV show junkie. Full disclosure, I sort of already knew this about myself, but it's gotten out of hand lately and I've realized how truly addicted I am to TV shows in general. I watch so many shows regularly. I own the DVD seasons of SO MANY shows. I'm contemplating getting help for my addiction.

I love reading guys, you know this. I've said it a hundred times. I carry my Nook around with me daily. But as much as I love reading, I love TV shows too. I also spend way too much time on my imdb.com app. It's a sickness. That's why I don't have any game apps on my phone. None. Because I choose to waste time on my imdb.com app or my Pinterest app instead of slicing fruit or guessing the word to match the picture. (interrupted again.)


So there you have it folks. A post about nothing important. (interrupted again) Maybe tomorrow I'll have something exciting to write about? Don't hold your breathe though, because I highly doubt it.

Now I'm going to publish this blog post before I get interrupted, AGAIN.



Wednesday, April 17, 2013

an accidental vacation..

I always try to find the humor in a situation. I handle things better when people are laughing. My whole family uses humor to defuse a problem. I watch more college basketball, major league baseball, and Chicago Bears games than most girls. I can hold my own with the boys. I use foul language and I know how to change my own tire.


But ask around and you'll find out, I can be an emotional mess. Truly. No one holds a candle to me when it comes to bursting into tears for no reason. I rock that shit.

I'm telling you all of that to tell you this.. I took a trip down memory lane yesterday. Purely by accident, but I got a good cry out of it and I feel like sharing it with you.

It all involves One Tree Hill.




Not a lot of people can say what I'm about to say.. I watched One Tree Hill from the first episode of Season 1. It was 2003 and I was in junior high. My mom and I watched that channel for another tv show and there had been tons of previews leading up to the Pilot episode. So I knew about it and made sure I was home to watch that first episode. I was hooked from that moment on.


My sister used to make fun of me for watching it, but by around Season 4, I had her hooked too. Then I slowly got my friends hooked and before you know it, we would all call each other or text each other during episodes. We had One Tree Hill parties. I can tell you everything about every episode. I know more about P. Sawyer and B. Davis and Haley James Scott than you'll ever want to know. Lucas and Nathan were my boyfriends. I felt connected to them.


I don't know what it is about OTH. I think a big reason I have such an emotional connection to it is because it was a constant in my life through those rocky junior high years and emotional and crazy high school years, even into my college years.


This sounds crazy because it is. To have such an emotional tie to a television program? I'm nuts...

Or am I?

The summer after I graduated high school and I was about to start my freshman year in the dorm at IU, the floor I was going to live on started a Facebook group. So of course I did what any normal, sane person would do.. I clicked on everyone who was in the group and checked out their Facebooks. Duh. Well, one of the girls who was going to be on my floor had on her Facebook that she loved One Tree Hill. So I casually sent her a Facebook message about that and we talked a little while about One Tree Hill and IU and our majors. We found out we were only a couple rooms away from each other on our floor and we made plans to meet after we moved in, then we'd watch the season premiere together. And that started a friendship. I later lived in an apartment with that same girl our Sophomore year at IU. We aren't as close as we used to be, but we're still friends and we still talk regularly.

I'm telling you all of that to tell you this..

I made the bright dumb decision to watch the final episode of One Tree Hill the yesterday.. while I was at work.


This ended as you'd expect.. with me crying like a baby while my coworkers looked at me with concern in their eyes, silently wondering if they should get me a tissue or take me out back to put me out of my misery. Lovely. Anyway, I posted this quote from that episode onto my Facebook..
"It's the oldest story in the world. One day you're 17 and planning for someday, and then quietly and without you ever really noticing, someday is today. And then someday is yesterday, and this is your life.." 
And wouldn't you know who liked it first? The girl I met 5 years ago because of One Tree Hill. I immediately texted her and we talked about it for a while. I shed a few more tears and that was that. 

Or was it?

Back in Kindergarten, I met this girl and we were best friends. In fact, we were best friends for 13 years. Not without our share of ups and downs, let me tell you, but we were close. In high school we added some other people and at one point we became this really close clique. 2 of the girls and I were so incredibly close. They ended up living together at IU our Freshman year. In a different dorm than me. Which I was totally fine with by the way, because by then, things were already a little rocky. (aka they didn't want me to have any other friends besides them and i wasn't following those rules very well)



That year I watched the One Tree Hill premiere with my new dorm friend, but my 2 other friends always wanted me to go to their dorm to watch the other OTH episodes. My dorm friend didn't care, so I always ended up watching with the other girls. Towards the end of 1st semester, I ditched the other girls one night and ended up watching OTH with my dorm friend. This caused one of the biggest blow ups in history and I'm still not on any kind of good terms with the girl I was friends with for 13 years. 

The other girl (the blonde one in the photos above) and I made up eventually, a year or 2 ago. And wouldn't you know it.. She commented on my One Tree Hill status. 

And this is where my accidental vacation down memory lane took place. I'm sitting there looking at my Facebook and I realize how many memories are connected and attached to this tv show. It's honestly almost insane. A friendship lost and another gained seemingly through OTH. 


Logically, I know One Tree Hill had nothing to do with any of the events of my Freshman year. But the memories of that are connected through that show. 


Have you ever been at the mall, in a crowd, and you smell a perfume. 
It's the same perfume your grandma used to wear. 
Instantly your mind makes you think of her.
Before you know it you're thinking of a specific memory of her.
And you can remember exactly how you felt in that memory with her.
All because you smelled her perfume.

That's the best way I know how to describe what One Tree Hill does to me. You have memories of your grandma attached to that perfume smell. I have memories attached to One Tree Hill. Lots of them. Some good and some not so good. I remember every tear I cried, every angry word said, every comforting hug, and every laugh.


This was a long post. A long and pointless one, but I needed to share it. I forgot to mention at the top that sometimes I know how to be selfish. I selfishly needed to get this all out so I can go back to work.


A vacation down Memory Lane really messes with a girl.. and I'm ready to go back home.



Tuesday, April 16, 2013

today #prayforboston

This wasn't what I had planned to blog about this morning. Things so rarely go as I plan them.

But today.. Well today I felt like writing about only one thing. Boston.


To be honest with you guys, today I don't care if you're a Democrat or a Republican. I don't care if you're Catholic or Muslim. I don't care if you're a man or a woman. I don't care if you're black or purple. I don't care if you're 7 or 107.


I don't care if you believe in the war. I don't care if you want stricter gun control. I don't care if you believe in abortion. I don't care if you don't think women should vote.


I don't care if you're a girl who likes boys. I don't care if you're a boy who likes boys. I don't care if you're sometimes a girl and sometimes a boy who sometimes likes girls and sometimes likes boys.

Today, I just don't care.


I care that someone lost their mother or father. I care that someone's wife or husband was injured. I care that someone's best friend isn't texting them this morning. I care that someone's little boy or little girl is scared and confused today.


I care that while there were many who ran away from the blast, there were some who ran towards it. I care that the area hospitals had to stop taking blood donations, because there were so many willing to give.


I wanted to write something meaningful. Something inspirational, something hopeful, something profound. But I just can't seem to string the right combination of words together. I'm not sure that there is a "right" combination of words.


I wish there was.


So last night I lit a few candles and I said a few prayers. And today, I'm sad. But tomorrow? Well, there's always hope for tomorrow.



Monday, April 15, 2013

i survived!

I've never been so happy to see a Monday morning in my entire life as I was this morning! Tonight I will finally be able to sleep and tomorrow I will finally get to have a stress free day! Happy, happy, happy!

For funnsies, let's see what my weekend looked like, shall we?


Yea, most of my weekend looked a lot like that. Sometimes worse.

I did take a break Saturday night to celebrate my little brother's 12th birthday! Love that kid to pieces!


He was even super cute and ordered the same thing as me at dinner. Chicken and waffles. I found that so adorable for some reason. And it was delicious and I in no way felt guilty about it. Not even a little.


And Saturday night a few of my friends forced me to go to a concert at a bar. I'm glad I did, because it was fun.. a little weird, but so fun. And I needed the break. Bad.




And Sunday was filled with more work, but it's over now! I'm actually going to be spending the next hour-ish working on blog posts for this week! I'm so excited to not be working on bookkeeping and tax prep that I might cry, you guys!

Anyway, I'll save you from that sloppy mess and just tell you to link up with Sami!


Hugs and kisses, friends.. hugs and freakin' kisses!

 

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